Mama's Musings

"Reshaping It All"...Really?

2011-05-14T08:26:00.000-04:00

Ugh! It's been a busy week! I can't remember a week this hectic in a long time. Part of it is my own fault, because I let some things go. On the other hand, it was an accomplished week of tying up loose ends.

But have I reshaped anything? Oh, yeah, I did. In the wrong direction! When I'm in weight-loss mode, my body gives me some nice feedback. I'm not getting that. It's so frustrating for me, because in the more recent past, I would lose a few pounds, feel good about myself, and then gain it all right back. I do NOT want to do that again!

I'm not considering myself a failure. God doesn't see me as a failure. As it is written in Psalm 103:

13 As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; 14 for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust. 15 As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field; 16 the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more.

God knows where I came from, but, more importantly, He knows where I am going. So He knows that I am weak. I can't do this on my own strength. I MUST rely on God's strength, or I am not going to succeed. With that knowledge, I did write up some verses on a piece of paper. This paper is on the wall right over my laptop.

I have a lot on my wall over my desk, but in the center of it is my list of verses. When I'm working, I can glance up and get some encouragement from God's Word. The bad thing is that I haven't done much work at my desk this week. That should change soon.

In Chapter 4 of "Reshaping It All" Candace talks about the importance of setting a goal, formulating a plan, and counting the cost of that goal. Formulating a plan needs to be more than just "cutting back." It is so important to be very specific about what we are cutting back. Candace asks three questions that help with getting specific about a goal and how to get there. I want to share my responses in hopes that putting it all out there will help me stay accountable to something for my goals.

What goal do I hope to attain?
I would like to at least get back down to the weight I was when I got married. This means that I need to lose 12 pounds to get to that goal! That's it!
What do you hope to attain by reaching this goal?
I will feel comfortable in my own skin again. I will feel attractive to my husband. I will have the energy to do what I need to do.
What is the cost?
1. Eat only when I'm hungry.
2. Reserve sugary treats for special, SCHEDULED times.
3. Don't eat after 7pm.
4. Eat at least 5 servings of produce.
5. Use smaller plates for dinner.
6. Drink 8 cups of water daily.
7. Exercise 4 days/week.

Hmm...I forgot one thing that needs to go under number 3: Read my Bible daily. My life falls apart when I'm not in my Bible every day. So this is really essential. Some parts of my plan may need to be tweaked as I go, but overall I think it's a good place to start. Especially when it comes to eating only when I'm hungry. I love food. I love the way it tastes. I don't want it to go to waste. Thus, I end up eating more than I really need. I don't stop when I am satisfied. However, God saved me from other things that I loved that were destructive to me. He can--and will--save me from my love of food.

Here is one of the verses that I have up on my wall:
"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." --I Corinthains 10:31

My Favorite Shampoo

2011-05-07T08:54:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm now feeling brave enough to share with the world my favorite shampoo and conditioner. Maybe you'll be surprised. Here it is:

Yup. Seriously. That's it. I'd read on some blogs about going "no 'poo" and I was intrigued by the idea. Actually, I really liked the thought of not needing to wash my hair every day. The women I'd read about said that they could go a few days without needing wash their hair. Since my mornings can get crazy, I really liked the idea of being able to get dressed in the morning without looking disgusting. At this point, I can go every other day without washing my hair. I love it.

Why would I want to do this? Or why should anyone want to do this? There are a couple of reasons. The first one has everything to do with all of the chemicals that are in shampoo and conditioner. Really all cleaning products. Personally, I am trying to avoid anything that requires a chemistry degree to understand. Plus other women have written about this very topic much better than I ever could. Here is one: http://simplemom.net/. She also follows the same method of washing that I do. This blog goes more specifically into some of the chemicals that are used: http://www.naturemoms.com/. You could do a google search on this topic and come up with more blogs than you have time to read. I'm just giving you a couple to get you started.

The second reason has to do with cost. Even if you want to stay away from most of the nasty chemicals and use commercial hair products, you will spend an arm and a leg on those products. And with the way the economy is looking these days, who can do that? Baking soda is pretty much the same no matter what brand you get, so I usually just get the generic at less than 50 cents a box. The conditioner is apple cider vinegar, and that is pretty cheap too. Just make sure you get a larger bottle. I haven't yet figured out how far a box of baking soda will go with me, because I have a couple of other uses for it in the bathroom. Bottom line: it's cheaper and better for you.

Disclaimer time: I understand that this may not work for everyone. If you decide to try it, give it some time to work. Your hair has been stripped of oils for years. It's going to take some time for your body to get back in balance. Also, you may have to play with the amounts of baking soda and vinegar that you use. I need a little more; you may need a little less. When I first started going no 'poo, I did have to wash my hair every day. I wasn't able to go every other day right out of the gates. And now you know.

This is all you need in the bathroom. I use the blue squeeze bottles to apply the baking soda and apple cider vinegar. In one I put 1.5 tablespoons of baking soda and add enough water to equal 8 ounces. Since my hair is so short now, I've been playing with the amount of water I use. I tend to use a little less now. I put the same amount of apple cider vinegar in the other bottle and add enough water to equal 8 ounces. When you add the water, make sure it's warm enough but not too hot. You don't want to pour cold water on your head (unless you like to), and you don't want to scald yourself in the shower. Also, make sure you shake the baking soda well to dissolve it. Most blogs will tell you to use 1 tablespoon of each to start. I did that and found that a little extra worked better for my hair. Like I said, it's a learning curve, and you just have to learn what works best for you.

Oh, one more thing about mixing the baking soda and vinegar. Don't think you're going to get away with mixing the baking soda and vinegar to save time. If you've ever done a volcano project, you know why. I had tinkered with the idea at first but quickly came to my senses about it. Base and acid cancel each other out.

Once you're in the shower and ready to go, pour the baking soda mixture onto the roots of your hair. With your fingertips, massage the baking soda in. Let it sit for a minute or two and rinse. Then pour the apple cider vinegar mixture onto the ends of your hair. Do the best you can. Let that sit for a minute or two and rinse.

And that really is it. It's pretty simple. I've been doing this for about 5 months. Maybe a little more? I've been pleased with the results. Want to join me and try? Are you already doing this or something similar? Let me know! I'd love to know I'm not the only one!

Reasons to Reshape It All

2011-05-05T11:14:00.000-04:00

I had victory last night, as I did not give in to having a snack after church! I've gotten into the bad habit of having a snack after the kids go to bed. Would I let my kids snack after dinner? More than likely not. Then why do I do it? Because I'm the mom, and I deserve it. Really? Okay. That's a bad reason. Do I really enjoy the extra pounds hanging out at my midsection? No, but they've been hanging around so long now that they feel like family.

In all seriousness, I'm finally kicking those pounds to the curb! Health-wise, last year was a bad year for me. Okay. Fine. But that doesn't mean that I have to let 2010 leak into 2011. And so far 2011 is starting out pretty well. I hit my highest weight in January, but now I'm down 15 pounds from that high weight to the lowest weight I've had in over a year!

Candace gives three reasons why diets don't work. I see myself in all three reasons. I'm undisciplined; I don't allow myself treats in moderation; and I'm not convicted about why I need to lose the weight. Today I'm going to list out the reasons why I want to lose the weight.

If I expect to keep up with my kids, I need to be healthier and stronger.
I want to glorify God by taking care of the temple He has given me.
Honestly, I just want to feel good about myself in a non-conceited kind of way. When I know I don't look my best, I get grumpy with my family. When I know I look good, there's an extra spring in my step. Plus I want to look good for my husband. I want him to be proud of me. I mean, he thinks I look good anyway, but I want to feel like I look good for him.

And that is really it. I hope it doesn't seem to shallow, but these are my reasons for getting healthier. After this last episode of immobilizing pain in my back, I do not ever want to be like that again! I want to be strong and able to fulfill my duties to my family and God.

This morning was a good morning of exercise. I walked my daughter to school this morning, which is more than 1.5 miles away. Then after I got home, I mowed the lawn. I'm now done for the morning and feel more than entitled to sit for a while. James will be home soon, so I'd better relax now while I can!

Live in freedom!

Chapter 1 Wrap-Up

2011-05-04T06:48:00.001-04:00

Well, so far this week is going well. Actually, I've been doing well since Monday. Yesterday was a good day. I went with my daughter on her field trip, so I did get plenty of walking in. I only ate when I was hungry, and that meant that I didn't finish my breakfast or lunch at one time! I didn't eat after 7pm, even though I really wanted to. Because I didn't eat after 7pm, I didn't have any sweets either. For my quiet time, I reflected on some of the passages in "Reshaping It All." Here they are.

p.4--"I desire to walk [under the umbrella of grace] in fellowship with Him."
This is what God desires from us anyway. Jesus calls us his friends. When I am friends with someone, I want to spend time with that person. Spending time with God gives me the strength I need to say "yes" to those things I should and "no" to what I need to. I have the freedom to do what I should; therefore, I don't need to give in to the pull of food.

p.6--"There something oddly comforting about...the thought of food that tricks our minds into believing that it can and will fill our void."
What is it about filling my belly full of food that makes me feel comforted and fulfilled? In one sense the fullness numbs the pain of what I'm dealing with. But really that's not how we should deal with our issues. It's just a way to hide from issues. And actually, I haven't overeaten in so long, that I am a much more pleasant person after dinner. I tend to get so cranky after overfilling my belly!

p.6--"I sought moral reformation instead of a spiritual transformation."
I think this sentence really gets to the heart of why we have a hard time changing. We want to change our external behaviours first when what we should do is change our hearts. When the state of my heart changes, then I am able to make the necessary external changes. I wonder how many Christians go through life this way, getting frustrated when they fall into the same sin over and over again. Not that I'm picking on anyone, because I only just got this this year! I started praying for God to show me my heart, and he did. Over time, I saw how my heart was more like the Pharisees rather than the the heart of a genuine follower of Christ. Really what is what was was my pride keeping me from authentically bowing my knee to Jesus. Only when I am being an authentic follower will I see my life truly change.

And that's what this whole journey is about anyway. The weight loss is a bonus to be sure. I won't deny that. But the focus needs to be on Jesus and living my life for him. My food issues were gods and idols that had no right being in my life. With my eyes on Jesus I can say no to food that I don't need. I can make healthier choices, because my body is the dwelling place of the Holy Spirit. Being cranky from overeating is not conducive to living a life in step with God. I am made for more than that, and I will strive to live a life that is pleasing to my God and Saviour.

Live in freedom!

PS: I'm linked up with Courtney at Women Living Well!

Field Trip Day!

2011-05-03T21:11:00.001-04:00

Well, I could write a book about what we did, but I'm just going to jump into the highlights. Overall, it was a good day. The first half was somewhat rushed, and I ended up stressed and with a headache. But to the beginning....

It started as an early day: I rolled out of bed a little after 5am. This wouldn't have been too bad, except that I had been awake for 2 and a half hours during the night. Cate and I made it to school on time. The students split into groups with their chaperones, we boarded the buses, and we were on our way. The kids were bouncing off the walls! They were so excited to go, but I was still able to read a little bit on the way there.

The first place we went was the Capitol building. In spite of the rallys being held there today, we got in and out fairly quickly. I was the most nervous about the Capitol, because I remember how it was when I was in school.

Okay, here is the embarrassing backstory: In fifth grade I got to go to Harrisburg with my class. We visited the Capitol building and made our way to the House of Representatives balcony. I attempted to sit in the balcony, but I was so freaked out by how high up we were that I ended up getting my own personal tour of the Capitol.

Let me just say that this trip was much better. I handled the balcony well, and I enjoyed the tour.

Next we went to the William Penn Museum, where I spent much of the time chasing after certain members of my group and obtained a headache as my prize. This museum focused on the history of Pennsylvania, and there was a lot of neat artifacts and artwork.

We moved on to the Governor's Mansion next. That was beautiful. While the Capitol had 2 ton chandeliers that were ugly, the Governor's Mansion had lead crystal chandeliers that were beautiful. The gardens were gorgeous. Our group was the first to go through, so we got some much needed down time while we waited for the other groups to go through.

Our last stop was the Whitaker Center where we saw a 3-D IMAX movie and played with some cool displays. I decided to give up on keeping my group together, so I spent the time going around and making sure that I knew where my kids were. Because the movie was in the middle of our time there, we only got to one floor and the gift shop. The kids were bummed that we couldn't do more, but we ran out of time.

The movie we saw was called "Born To Be Wild." It was about two women: one in Kenya raising orphaned elephants, and one near Indonesia raising orphaned orangutans. It was funny. The best part was watching the animals interact with their caregivers. Actually, the funniest part for me was watching the kids react to the 3-D with the countdown at the beginning. They were ducking and reaching out to the screen. Overall, I give it two thumbs up!

I had hoped that the kids would fall asleep on the way home, but no such luck. It was still a good ride home. It went fast. I'm glad to be home, but I did have a good time out there.

Day 2 of "Reshaping It All"

2011-05-02T21:38:00.000-04:00

So it looks like that I'm posting this tonight. It's been a good day. Since I'm at the beginning of this journey, I wanted to share 5 goals that I'm shooting for every day. Then if I mess up on one, I have to announce it on here, and I REALLY don't want to do that!

Skipping the evening snacks. It works well for me to take my Synthroid at night, but it has to be on an empty stomach.
Exercising 3-4 days per week. I'm going to shoot for a little movement every day, even if it's just a couple of sun salutations.
Only eating when I'm hungry and learning to stop when I'm satisfied.
Keeping sweets to once or twice a week, as opposed to once or twice per day. I love my sweets, but if I can't learn to control them, then they'll have to get kicked to the curb entirely.
The most important part: starting my day in the Word. I'm entirely prone to emotional eating, and when I'm fully reliant on God, I don't need to reach for food to comfort me.

If you go to the "Reshaping It All" website, there are other bloggers there giving copies of the book away. It's not too late yet! It's a fabulous book. I remember Candace Cameron from "Full House," and it was wonderful to hear her testimony and learn a little bit about her life.

But if you'd rather join me as an accountability partner without reading the book, I'd love to have that too. My sister is helping me stay accountable, and I'm helping her stay accountable. This evening I was feeling the pull of sweets, and knowing that I would have to post here and tell my sister was enough to keep me from eating it.

So that's it for day 2. I am going with my daughter's class to Harrisburg for their field trip tomorrow, so I'll be posting about that tomorrow. On Wednesday I'll be back with more about "Reshaping It All." So until tomorrow, good night!

Jumping Back In!

2011-05-01T18:34:00.000-04:00

Well, the last time I was serious about blogging, I was about to have surgery on my neck. I ended up having a discectomy that fused my C-6 and C-7 vertebrae. It actually wasn't that bad. But it seriously threw me off on everything that I had been doing. I've been wanting to get back in here, but I wasn't sure how or what to post.

Well, that is over.

I am going to go through the book Reshaping It All by Candace Cameron Bure and Darlene Schadt and post my victories and downfalls on here. I have already read the book once and gave up sugar for Lent, so I know that it can be done. Lent was a safe spot, however, and now that it's over I'm back to sugar every day. If I keep that up, then the 10 pounds that I lost will be regained. And I DO NOT want that!!!

So if you're interested to see how I'm doing, just check in here or follow my posts. I'm hoping to spend three days a week posting on this book...maybe more if I'm particularly inspired. We'll see how it goes. Also, if anyone is interested in joining me on my journey, there is more information at the Reshaping It All website. I'd love to see you all there!

A Lesson in Perseverance

2010-08-18T10:52:00.000-04:00

Lately I've been doing a bit of crocheting. I've never really been all that great at it, but I picked up a few easy projects that are helping me get better. Plus, I'm planning on making as many Christmas presents as possible.

Cate hasn't shown much interest in domestic things (ie: cooking, cleaning, sewing). Yesterday she actually took an interest in the blanket I am making for her American Girl doll. It's just a simple blanket made with a double crochet stitch. She tried a couple stitches, but we didn't get to go much farther than that. So this morning after our quiet time I gave her some yarn and a crochet hook. Getting started was tough for her (it still is for me!), but she got the chain stitch pretty easily. Then we moved on to the single crochet stitch. That was a little more difficult for her and she got frustrated many times. She messed up a bit, so we kept pulling out the stitches that she messed up on. All in all, when she finished a few rows, she was pleased with what she did.

One complaint I got was that I made it look easy. I had to remind her several times that I have a lot more practice with it than she does. I patiently encouraged her to continue and not give up. Then I reminded her about perseverance. We defined perseverance (with the help of dictionary.com). Then I told her that that included her Christian life too. There are going to be so many times when we want to give up, but we can't. We have to keep going on. Even when we screw up, we can't just throw the towel in. We have to pick up where we left off and try again. Other people might make it look easy, but we don't know what they are struggling with.

How to Make Homemade Bread

2010-07-23T07:00:00.000-04:00

For those out there who find the thought of making bread by hand to be overwhelming, take heart. I felt the same way at one time. It's actually not that difficult--or time-consuming--to make your own bread. If you have a bread machine, it's even easier. But if you don't have a bread machine, or you're unhappy with the results you're getting from the bread machine, try this recipe. I did find it off the internet, but I don't remember where I got it. It's a pretty basic recipe. I have tweaked it a bit to make it my own.

Homemade Bread

1 Tbsp yeast (or one packet)
1 c. hot water
3-5 tsp butter, melted
1/4 c. milk (I use raw milk, which is whole milk, so I don't know how it turns out with low-fat varieties.)
5 tsp sugar
1 tsp salt
2.5-3.5 c. flour
5 tsp vital wheat gluten

In a large bowl, mix the yeast with the hot water until the yeast has dissolved.
Add the butter, milk, sugar, and salt to the dissolved yeast and mix well.
Add two cups of flour and the vital wheat gluten and mix well. Continue to add more of the flour 1/4 cup at a time until the dough is not sticky. (I end up mixing the dough with my hands as the dough gets tougher to mix with a spoon.)
Rub some flour between your hands and flour a clean place to knead the dough. Knead the dough for 10 minutes. I do this by punching it, karate-chopping it, or squeezing it with my hands. Just remember to put it back in a ball every so often while you're kneading.
When you're done kneading, shape the dough into a ball. Spray a clean bowl with cooking spray. Put the dough in the bowl in cover it with a towel. Set the bowl in a WARM, draft-free area for about an hour.
The dough should have risen at least by double. As long as it rises some, you will be okay. Punch the dough two or three times to bring it back to its original size. Knead it a few more times.
Shape the dough into a loaf. You can do this by either spreading the dough out and rolling it up like a jelly roll. Or you can just shape it with your hands and tuck the short ends under. The seam will go down on the bottom. Tuck the ends under, so it looks like a mini-loaf. It should still be about as long as the bread pan.
Grease and flour the pan and place the loaf in the pan.
Cover it with a towel and let it rise for another hour in a warm place. It should double again with the second rise.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees and bake for about 25 minutes. A lot of the timing is going to depend on your oven, so check it after 20 minutes. It's done when the pan sounds hollow when you tap it on the bottom.

A few notes:
I use raw milk, which is whole milk, so I don't know how it turns out with low-fat varieties.
I don't bother with temperature when I'm measuring out the hot water. If it's a little hotter than I can handle, then it's good.
I use parchment paper for all of my baking. I usually just throw a piece of parchment in the loaf pan, and then I can lift the bread out when it's done baking.

Completing Him Challenge--Communicating Priorities

2010-07-15T07:00:00.001-04:00

July 12 - Make a list of 5 things you currently do and ask him to prioritize them for you of what is important to him. For example - a clean home, home cooked dinner, coupon clipping, service at church, having friends over for dinner, watching/doing sports with him, etc.

Well, this past weekend was rough for me and my husband, so I didn't get to do this challenge in time to post on Monday. I won't go into great detail about my list, but I will say that my husband and I have very different priorities. I just wrote down a bunch of things that I'm currently doing in my life, and the activities that he had listed as most important were definitely not the things that I thought they might be. The things that I thought were most important were at the bottom of the top 5. It was disappointing to me.

I did learn something about my husband, and I now know what to do to really make him happy. And I do want my husband to be happy.

Ways to Honor Your Parents

2010-07-14T12:25:00.001-04:00

I recently bought a copy of "Polished Cornerstones" and received it in the mail on Monday. If you have never heard of "Polished Cornerstones," it is a book that is used to train daughters to become like the Proverbs 31 woman. It can easily be incorporated into a homeschooling curriculum. There are a lot of projects for girls to work on, and this book can be used for girls of all ages.

I looked through the book on Monday night to see what Cate's first project would be. To go with the lesson on obedience, we started with "a submissive woman." The project I decided on first was Project C. Cate needed to make a list of 10 ways she could show her parents honor and respect. To help her get started, I also attempted this project.

As an adult, I can also show my parents honor and respect. I came up with a list of five things:

Ask for their opinion about a problem that I'm having. Thank them for their help.
Remember their birthdays and anniversary by giving them a card and a thoughtful gift.
Say kind things about them, even if they're not around.
As an adult, I need to not rely on my parents to meet my basic needs.
Be a good houseguest when I visit. Offer to help clean the house. Keep my own personal space tidy.

I'm sure there are other things I could come up with, but this was a start for me.

This morning I had Cate work on this project. Since my niece was over, I had her participate in the project as well. They both came up with separate lists.

Here is Cate's list:

Obey without being asked twice.
Do a chore without being asked.
Do not whine when they ask me to do something.
Let Andrea's dogs out without being reminded.
Play with James without being asked.
Fill salt and pepper shakers without being asked.
Clean basement without being told to.
Feed dogs without being reminded.
Clean my room without being asked.
Remember their anniversary.

Here is my niece's list:

Obey them when they ask me to do something.
Get them a present for mother's day, like flowers.
Show you can do something on your own.
Feed the cats when they don't ask me to.
Clean the living room without being told to.
Get breakfast without my mom making it.
Caring for mom and dad and love them.
When you come home from school, kiss them and tell them you love them.
Make a card on their birthday.
Clean the whole house.

They came up with some great things. One thing that I thought of was something that you can't really appreciate until you become a parent. An important way that children can show their parents honor is by behaving well out in public. Our children are a reflection of us in how they behave with other adults outside of the home. When I get comments about how well-behaved my children are, I know I am doing my job as a parent. Even if I feel ineffective at teaching my children discipline and respect, I know that they are learning something.

We also talked about what it means to be submissive and how we are always submissive to someone, whether it be our parents, teachers, employers, spouses, or God. This is probably one of the most important lessons that our children can learn.

Psalm 127:3--"Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him."

Getting Clean Laundry

2010-07-13T07:00:00.002-04:00

I've been learning a lot about getting my clothes cleaner, so for the next three weeks I'm going to talk about what I'm learning about doing laundry and getting clean clothes. For week 1 I'm going to talk a little bit about cleaning the washer. For week 2 I'm going to talk about the laundry detergent and fabric softener that I use. For week 3 I'm going to talk about spot cleaning clothing and getting stubborn stains out. If anyone has any tips or ideas, I'd love to hear about them.

Week 1: Cleaning the washer

I have recently started using homemade laundry detergent and vinegar on my dirty clothes. At first I wasn't too sure about it. I was getting lint on my darks and the cleaning was okay. Not great, but passable.

Then I just couldn't take the lint anymore. I did a google search and found the solution to my problem on several sites. There were a few recommendations:

clean the washer with vinegar;
clean the lint trap if your washer has one;
use a cup of vinegar with the laundry detergent in addition to the rinse cycle;
don't overfill the tub;
wash the clothes that create lint separately from the other clothing.

Cleaning the washer is pretty simple. It's as simple as running a load of wash. Fill the tub of the washer halfway. Put a couple of cups of vinegar in the tub and let it agitate. When the washer is done agitating, turn it off and let the water soak for at least an hour. While the tub of the washer is soaking, you can use that time to locate the lint trap (if the washer has one) and clean it. If your washer is like mine and has a fabric softener dispenser in the agitator, take it apart and clean it out. There was a lot of mold and junk in the dispense of my washer. Yuck! After it's done sitting, let it finish washing. Wipe out the tub of any junk that's left in there.

I don't know what kind of schedule you're supposed to keep with this, but I'll probably do it quarterly.

I can tell you that my wash has been a lot cleaner since I've cleaned my washer. The lint problem still isn't completely gone, but if I toss the clothing in the dryer for a bit, that seems to take care of it.

Making Marshmallows

2010-07-10T16:41:00.001-04:00

I love marshmallows, and the kids love marshmallows. Unfortunately, I don't like most of the ingredients in the marshmallows. So that means that it's time to turn to Google and search for a recipe. I can usually find a good recipe for almost anything I need. Not so this time. I had to specifically add "without corn syrup" to find a recipe that did not include corn syrup. I have issues with corn syrup, but that's another post for another time.

So thanks to the Frugal Kiwi for an easy, delicious recipe. The ingredient list is pretty simple, which is a bonus for me. The list of ingredients includes: gelatin (I used unflavored Knox gelatin), water, granulated sugar, honey (I used agave), salt, and vanilla extract. To coat the marshmallows, all you need is corn starch and powdered sugar. Other than the gelatin and possibly the powdered sugar, these are things that are staples in any pantry.

While the recipe is easy, you do need to be able to give your entire attention to the recipe the whole time. I won't reiterate the entire recipe here (click the Frugal Kiwi link to go right to the recipe), but I'll give you some tips that might help you.

Use a candy thermometer when you are making the syrup.
A stand mixer might be easier to use if you have one. If you only have a hand mixer, gently pull the beaters out of the mixture when it starts to climb up to get it off the beaters.
The mixture did not pour out of the bowl for me. It was so sticky and gooey. I had a hard time trying to spread it out. I used a 9"x13" baking dish, but and 8"x8" dish would probably work better.

The marshmallows are so good! They're not exactly like the store bought marshmallows, but my husband told me that they're better than the store bought marshmallows. I have not tried to toast any, so I honestly don't know how that works out. I probably will find out before the summer is over though.

Bon apetit!

Learning to Obey

2010-07-08T12:18:00.001-04:00

Today I have a guest blogger: my eight year old daughter. Lately, she's been having an issue with obedience, so I told her that we needed to do a study on obedience. What does the Bible have to say about it? Well, it turns out the Bible says a lot about it, but I managed to find verses to give her a one week Bible study. One verse per day--more or less--and a story of obedience on the last day.

So here is what she wrote about the first verse: Ephesians 6:1.

Ephesians 6:1--"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right."

I don't really like this verse, because sometimes it's hard to obey my parents. What mommy tells me to do is tough. I don't have confidence in what I'm supposed to do, but mommy has confidence in me. I know God didn't make any mistakes. I try to be like him.

I like helping her, but sometimes I don't like to. Playing is fun, but chores go first. I enjoy doing it in my own way, but sometimes Mommy wants it done in her own way. God wants me to obey my parents even when I don't feel like obeying them.

The End!

In the next few days, she'll explore the fifth commandment, the way Jesus acted toward his parents, and the way that Jesus learned obedience. On the last day, she'll read I Samuel 15, which shows what can happen when you don't do what God wants you to do. She'll memorize one of my favorite verses: I Samuel 15:22. Next week I'll let you know how she did.

To God be the glory!

Desiring to Homeschool

2010-07-07T10:00:00.001-04:00

Over at the Women Living Well blog, Courtney shared the day they received their new textbooks and supplies for the upcoming school year. It turns out that she uses a public online school to homeschool her children. It brought the desire back in me to homeschool Cate this coming year.

The only thing holding me back is my husband. John is worried about the lack of socialization for Cate. I'm not really so worried about that, because she'll have access to kids outside the home. Maybe it wouldn't be such an issue either if Cate weren't so anxious in social situations. She doesn't have social anxiety, but she just has a hard time knowing where she fits in in different circles.

Little does she know that I feel the same way about myself. Cate is my "mini-me." She has a lot of the same desires that I do. I empathize well with her.

There was a lot of girl "drama" in her classroom last year. It was a rough year. She ended up getting in trouble with the teacher for being chatty and not focusing.

So I'm not really sure what to do. I'm praying about it right now, so that I know what God's will is. I hope He makes it clear whether we should homeschool or not. I've done too much jumping into things this year, and it's gotten me into a lot of trouble. Now I'm just going to wait on God's will.

Welcome to Homemaker Tuesdays!

2010-07-06T10:00:00.002-04:00

Well, since embracing my role as a homemaker, I've been learning a lot of new things. I'd like to share some of the things that I've learned and hopefully pass these things down to my daughter as well.

The one great thing about being home with the kids is that I can get them to work with me in the home. It opens up so many opportunities to teach from a godly perspective and share my beliefs with my kids. Deuteronomy 6:7 tells me to "[i]mpress them (God's commands) on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." In every aspect of life I can share with my children how God wants us to live.

This past Saturday I moved the kitchen furniture and scrubbed the floor on my hands and knees. (Note to self: Don't attempt this again until after I have healed from surgery!) I asked Cate to help me by scrubbing the baseboards and walls while I scrubbed the floor. She got a little sloppy with her work, and I was able to share with her why we put all of our effort into our work. I quoted a couple of Scriptures. I think she got the message, because then she cut a rag for her brother to help out too!

I absolutely loved that little window of opportunity to teach Cate some of God's truth. I have seen her growing and changing this summer, and I'm so happy about it. It's been an exciting time as I figure out how this homemaking and raising kids thing works. I feel like I'm doing what I was made to do. I know Cate is happier as a result. I'm not sure about James, but he is constantly singing some happy little song. I think he's happy too.

Completing Him Challenge--Admiring My Husband

2010-07-05T22:22:00.000-04:00

This weeks Marriage challenge is: Admire Your Husband. If you are a blogger write a post all about your husband and what you admire in him and then show it to him! He will smile!
Well, this challenge was a real challenge this morning. That is why I have not posted until this evening. I know I disappointed my husband last night. I woke up at one point, and he wasn't in bed. I know something bothered him, and that something was my fault.

Argh. Satan knows what button to push to create a wedge in our marriage. This certain thing has been an issue for a while now, and I'm not sure how to get over it. I know what I should have said this morning.

I should have said "I'm sorry."

Words feel so meaningless at times, and that was the reason why I couldn't lovingly admire my husband this morning. My heart was not there. It would have been meaningless drivel.

So now I can say why I admire my husband. And mean it.

He has a wonderful work ethic. He is a hard worker and puts everything he has into his job. Sometimes to a fault, but you can't say that he is not dedicated to the company he works for.
I'm not sure that there's anything that he can't do around the house. He's been working on cars since he was 14, and people come to him all the time for help with their cars. In addition to cars, he cleaned our furnace out after watching some Youtube videos about it. You know, I think he did a better job than the heating company would have done. He was thorough. He has no formal training, but he did it anyway.
Along the same vein, he can fix just about anything. In our church nursery there is a Larry the Cucumber toy that dances around and sings. Larry wasn't dancing so much anymore, but John took it home and fixed it. The kids in the nursery can continue to play with Larry and enjoy him.
He is an EXCELLENT cook! I love a man that can cook for me. He even cooked tofu and ate it back in my vegetarian days while we were dating. He has the ability to throw things together and make it taste good. I love the Sundays after church when he makes Eggs Benedict. He does such a great job.
John is a man of strong conviction. His beliefs don't change at the drop of a dime. He knows what he believes, and he knows why he believes that way.
John doesn't go with the flow or follow current trends. He is his own person, and he is not afraid to be that way. He is truly a nonconformist.
He is generous with what he has. John loves to give money, time, and talent to those pursuits he feels are worthwhile.
John is a great father. He loves to spend time with his kids. At bedtime, he will read a lot of books to James. He has a genuine concern for his kids.
John is a great husband. For all the ways and times that I fail him, he still loves me. He knows me and understands me. He accepts me and loves me unconditionally.

My brain is running out of things to admire about John, but I'm sure I'll think of more before I go to bed. John is a wonderful man. We work together really well, and he completes me better than anyone else could. He's not afraid to challenge me to be a better person.

What do you admire about your husband? I would love to hear about it!

Language and Dreams

2010-07-02T10:12:00.000-04:00

This post is more of an intellectual pursuit. This is something I've been kicking around in my head for years. I'd like to write a paper on this, but I have no idea where to even begin researching for it.

So what is this? For some background on how I even came up with this idea--which I'll get to in a minute--I learned French in high school. I got some of the best advice on learning a foreign language from a bilingual girl I knew in school. She told me to not translate while I'm speaking or listening in the language. This served me well as I navigated the finer points of French. It also helped a ton as I gained extra experience while watching "French in Action" on PBS. Even in French 1, when I knew only a handful of words, I watched this and tried to catch any words that I knew. Then rather than try to translate, I pictured the word in my mind visually.

I was also told that I would know I was fluent in a language when I could dream in that language. I don't remember who told me that, but it seemed to be common knowledge and the prevailing thought at the time.

Then I "met" Benjamin Lee Whorf. He is not to be confused with Lt. Wharf on Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Whorf is one of my academic heroes. He's a close second to Einstein. Whorf was a chemical engineer who had a hobby in linguistics. He studied American Indian languages and wrote many papers on linguistics based on his findings. He also worked with Edward Sapir on a theory called the Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis. Basically this states that language shapes our thoughts and, to some extent, our reality. Language is not merely the vehicle we use to express our thoughts. When I studied this in college, I found it to be very interesting. We know what is important in a culture based on what the language focuses on. For example, in America we only have one word for snow. The Eskimo have over 100 words for snow. Snow is not that important to us. We can use adjectives to give the snow qualities, but it is still the same word. Also, in French one of my favorite words is apprivoiser. If memory serves me right, it is translated into English as "to tame." But if you've read "The Little Prince" in French, it means so much more than that. The little prince must show up at the same time everyday to gain the fox's trust and friendship. Tame is an okay word, but it lacks the depth of the French meaning of apprivoiser.

Okay. So what does this have to do with anything? When I lived in Allentown six or seven years ago, I started learning Spanish. I am far from fluent in Spanish, but I did dream in Spanish once. Well, it was more like someone in my dream spoke some words in Spanish. In light of what I was learning about language and linguistics at the time, I wondered what role language actually plays in our dreams. What does this mean for the multi-lingual individual? How does the brain decide what language--or what reality--to dream in? When I had my dream, the person who said the words in Spanish was a Hispanic. I am not Spanish or Hispanic, so it doesn't make sense for me to say anything Spanish in my dreams. It seems that this is a shortcoming of the Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis. I'm not sure if it holds true when it comes to dreams.

I'm hoping that someone has an opinion about this. I'd like to hear some other points of view, especially from someone who is actually fluent in more than one language.

Completing Him Challenge--Praying For My Husband

2010-06-28T22:33:00.000-04:00

What a wonderful challenge this week! This week I am to pray every day for my husband, and specifically ask him what I can pray for every morning. It's something that's so simple, but I admit that I'm horrible about praying for him.

And as a bonus, I can fast for him one day. Again, that's not something I don't do a whole lot of either.

Thank God I don't have to work for my salvation!

I know that John needs prayer. I just don't always know how to pray. Actually, Courtney mentioned the book "The Power of a Praying Wife," which is one that I don't have. In that book, there is a list of ways that wives can pray for their husbands. Courtney has it listed out in her post, which you can access through the image at the top of this post.

I can't wait to see what happens through faithful prayer. I know that powerful things can happen. I have seen things happen in my own life when I pray and put my problems before God.

I'll have to wait until the end of the week to see if I was successful in maintaining regular prayer for my husband. Please pray for me!

Frozen yogurt is not health food

2010-06-24T07:00:00.002-04:00

Frozen yogurt is not health food

Frozen yogurt shops don't deliver healthy food, but they do deliver the illusion of healthy food. And in America today, where illusion dominates reality, that's good enough!

I got this email from Natural News a few days ago. It was an article by Mike Adams about frozen yogurt. I don't really think much about frozen yogurt. I mean, seriously, if I'm going to have a cold treat, I really want ice cream. The point isn't to be healthy anyway. But there was a really good point about frozen yogurt having this illusion of a healthy snack, while it's nothing more than glorified ice cream with probiotics.

Then at one point in the post, the author turns a corner and starts talking about reality in the US being an illusion. We don't want the reality, because it infringes on our right to live the life that we want.

Then he gets into popular religion in America.

I mean, I have no idea where he stands with religion, but I can see him getting really passionate about this. Mike says, "They don't really want to authentically believe in God, you see, because that would require a whole different level of personal discipline to act in a way that honored their beliefs (and honored their body as a temple)." Whoa. The guilt starts pouring in, and I'm not even sure I did anything wrong.

So he's talking about authentic Christianity. Authentic living. Living the life that reflects a belief system that has depth and breadth. Being consistent with those beliefs. And by consistent I mean wanting to save the animals and the unborn from a violent end.

Just read the article. It made me stop and examine my beliefs and the way I care for my body. I am constantly learning new things about health. I'm not consistently putting it into practice, but I am making an effort everyday. The way I do my grocery shopping has changed dramatically since the beginning of the year. It will continue to change as I figure out how I can reconcile my family's eating habits with healthy ideals. I want my life to reflect the truth of what I believe.

Eager Obedience

2010-06-22T07:49:00.000-04:00

Titus 2:14
"[Jesus] gave himself for us to...purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good."

If I belong to God, I should desire to be EAGER to do what is good. I can put a happy face on, but have a heart that is grumbling underneath. God sees my heart. I can't fool Him. If I have an issue with eager obedience, I need to talk to God about it and work it out with Him.

What is the good that I should do? Earlier in the chapter, there are some things spelled out specifically for me as a young wife:

to love my husband and children;
to be self-controlled and pure;
to be busy at home;
to be kind;
to be subject to my husband.

All of these are a struggle for me at some point. Some are harder than others. When I am having a hard time with being eager to do one of these things, I need to pray for a heart adjustment.

To be honest, I don't feel like I'm struggling with any of this RIGHT NOW. Not that I don't ever. As I'm writing this, I feel as though I'm giving some sort of wimpy "just trust God and it'll be okay" answer to the problem. I mean, trusting God is huge, so I don't want to minimize that at all. That is not my intention.

It's just that in the struggle of life, it feels so much harder to trust God. It's easy to tell people to trust God when I'm not struggling with that issue.

But don't worry. I'll be struggling in a few days, and then I'll need the reminder to hit my knees and work it out with God.

Completing Him Challenge--The Wedding Day

2010-06-21T07:00:00.043-04:00

June 21 - Remember Your Vows - post pictures of your wedding day. We will review the sacredness of this day.

This is one of the most important days of my life. It is the day I vowed to love and care for someone until death separates us. We all know that this is something that is not to be taken lightly, yet so many go into marriage with the idea that they can get out if it doesn't work out. I cringe when I hear this. There aren't supposed to be "take backs" in marriage.

Marriage is no walk in the park. Sometimes you have to put someone else's needs before your own. That is not an easy thing to do. I've found in my own marriage that it makes the marriage better when I put John's needs before my own.

In spite of the rocky patches, I wouldn't trade my life with John for anything. He drives me bonkers at times, but he is really the best man for me.

I forgot one very important part of this post: the wedding story!! It's pretty simple, actually.

We had a short engagement, just a couple of months. We decided to get married in Phoenix for a couple of reasons. First of all, all of my immediate family was there. Second, because this was my first marriage and his second, this was more important to me. He didn't care if his family was there. Third, my dad had an awesome backyard, and it was the perfect setting for the wedding and reception.

I had to pick out my dress here in Pennsylvania and transport it out there. Cate and I went to David's Bridal in Whitehall to pick my dress. I found the perfect dress. I knew it was the one when I tried it on. I cried though, because my mom should have been there. Someone else should have been there.

I didn't have much else to do except pick the flowers and colors. My parents took care of every other detail. It was so elegant. It wasn't the large wedding I dreamed of when I was younger, but it was perfect.

We decided to have the wedding Memorial Day weekend. My sister was having a baby shower that Saturday, and then we'd get married Sunday. John's parents came out too. I think they enjoyed themselves in spite of the heat. Frank, my father-in-law, is a biologist, so I know he enjoyed himself with the landscape.

I'm not sure if you can see it in the pictures I posted here, but John was such a happy groom. I loved going through my pictures. It reminded me of just how much I really do love my husband.

And they all lived happily ever after...for at least a couple of months.

Completing Him Challenge--The Dating Days

2010-06-18T22:19:00.006-04:00

June 14 – Post Pictures from your dating days (or tell us all about it!). Think about one thing you used to do or have as a couple that you have lost in the shuffle of life. How can you regain it?

Well, I don't think I have any pictures from our dating days. Our dating days were interesting to say the least.

I do remember that any gifts John gave me were practical. That was somewhat frustrating to me, because I am not a practical person. Especially back then.

I've grown a lot in the years since we first started dating. I never cooked anything for him. In fact, he used to cook for me. Obviously the way to John's heart is not through his stomach! We would actually just go out to eat most of the time.

Way back in the beginning I wrote poems for John. I was inspired by him. I haven't done that in a long time. Since we've been married, I haven't found a lot to be inspired by. I need to learn to see inspiration. I'm sure it's all around me.

One thing that I would like to do again is go out for walks in the evening. We used to walk around Fleetwood and then hang out on the playground at the Elementary school. The thing I liked most about that is that we would talk about everything. Now it feels like there's no time to talk.

Those are a couple of the highlights that I remember most about dating John. As far as regaining any of those things, we really need to make more time for each other. Date nights are few and far between. That's probably the biggest thing we can do for each other and our marriage.

Next week I'll be more prompt on posting for the challenge. I promise!

Happy Father's Day!

2010-06-18T21:08:00.003-04:00

I know it's not quite Father's Day yet, but James brought a present home for Daddy that he made at daycare. Here's a picture of the project.

James isn't much for touching paint with any part of his body, so I'm really proud of him for letting his teacher do these footprints. There's a poem in the middle, and that made me want to cry. So here's a poem for all the dads out there.

"Walk a little slower Daddy" said a child so small.
"I'm fallowing in your footsteps and I don't want to fall."

Sometimes your steps are very fast,
Sometimes they're hard to see;
So walk a little slower, Daddy,
For you are leading me.

Someday when I'm all grown up,
You're what I want to be;
Then I will have a little child,
Who'll want to follow me.

And I would want to lead just right,
And know that I was true;
So, walk a little slower, Daddy,
For I must follow you.

--Anonymous

When I read that for the first time, I had tears rolling down my cheeks. I think it is the sweetest Father's Day poem I've ever read.

There's so much truth to it too. There is so much on parents' shoulders, because our kids watch our every move. Fortunately, we have a Heavenly Father who never walks too fast for us. He meets us exactly where we are, and we can trust His footsteps. They are true. We can follow in His example, because it is perfect.

Proverbs 14:26 -- "He who fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge."

Green Me

2010-06-09T21:35:00.003-04:00

I am seriously the last person you'd expect to care about being eco-friendly. Don't get me wrong. I don't think that we should trash the earth, but I do think that the earth's resources--oil included--are here for us to use. It is important to be responsible in how we use our resources. Plus, and this could be the liberal part of me coming out, I'm not going to run around and tell people that they should be eco-friendly. I just think that this is one of those issues where people need to make decisions based on their conscience.

Just to be clear, I don't seek out eco-friendly products, unless that product directly impacts the amount of chemicals going into my body. If one happens to jump out at me that is also economically viable, then I'll consider it. And today something jumped out at me while I was shopping at Target.

I went there to get a notebook to put blog ideas in and found one that I liked in the eco-friendly section. It had an odd feel to it, but I did like the cover. The price wasn't too bad ($2.99 for a 100 page composition book). Because I prefer something with an attractive cover, I checked the prices on the other notebooks to compare the price. I decided the price was pretty good.

So what was so special about this? Here are the features of the notebook:

It is completely tree-free. The paper was made with "all natural" stone.

The production of stone paper uses much less water than virgin paper and creates no air pollution.

It writes with ink and pencil very nicely. The only downfall with pencils is that very sharp tips are not good with the paper. Otherwise, I love how it writes.

It is virtually water-proof! I carried it out in the rain today, and it left no water spots. The stone does not absorb water the way that fibrous paper does. This is a huge benefit with kids around that are prone to spilling things.

It does not tear very easily. Actually, what it really does is stretch a little and then tear apart. I have a picture of that to the right to show you how it looks. You can see at the top that the paper stretches a little before tearing.

It is recyclable.

So it's a unique product that is not ridiculously expensive but is still a quality product. A google search revealed that this has actually been around for at least a year. You can get invitations and other stationary online made by stone. I think that this is one of the better eco-friendly options for paper. Besides the benefits that I listed above, I absolutely love the feel of the paper! It feels kind of soft.

So the next time you're at Target, if you've never seen stone paper before, check it out.

Completing Him Challenge Summer 2010

2010-06-07T12:19:00.007-04:00

I came across this challenge on Facebook. The blogger who came up with this posted it on her Facebook page, and I was curious about what "completing him" means. I thought it had something to do with God, and I guess I was partly right. The "him" in the phrase refers to your husband, and the purpose of the challenge is to learn how to be the wife that your husband needs. Since we all have different husbands, no two marriages are going to look exactly the same. It's important to learn what makes your marriage work while still being biblical. Throughout the next 10 weeks, I will be posting about my marriage and my relationship with my husband. I'm hoping this will be a time of discovery and renewal in this important relationship. Incidentally, this post came to me the day after I prayed for more passion for my husband. I didn't labor over the prayer; it was more like an afterthought.
I would love for some of my friends to join me on this journey and see what God reveals to us during the next couple of months. Click on the button above to go to the original blog post. You can also check out a video of Courtney talking about the challenge right here:

My New Life

2010-06-07T09:41:00.002-04:00

This year has been...shall we say...interesting. We're already halfway through the year, and I've been through more than I'd care to go through. I started out thinking that I had a job and life was going to be good. I'd work at home, get some new clients, bring in some income. Life was going to be good. Alas, this has not been the case. The job was a bust, and I've been bouncing around trying to figure out what I'm going to do. Oh, yeah. Then I had some depression and almost left my husband. I'm sure that's the last thing anyone would expect to hear from me. But as they say, life doesn't always turn out the way you would expect it to. I just didn't think they were talking about my life.
Fast forward to the present. I'm stressing myself out with finding a job, because I know that financially we need the extra income. I have James in daycare full-time, which has been wonderful for him. He's a lot more social now than he used to be. In spite of being jerked around with a job, God has provided the means to pay for daycare. Cate has been having issues in school, but she is getting through. I haven't been a perfect mom, but somehow we're all surviving.
I'm starting to think that God might have another plan for me. Maybe--just maybe--I'm supposed to be a stay-at-home mom. Please note: I am not a homemaker. I hate to clean. I'm not even a great cook. And when it comes to being around my kids 24/7, forget about it! This really is not my forte. Being in school and studying is more my thing. That's why I applied to Kutztown. I love learning, and I'm really good at it! Here's the proof: I graduated magna cum laude from RACC. That's right. God blessed me with a brain. I have too much potential in the academic arena to waste it on cleaning house and running after children all day. But I have kids. They depend on me to be their rock every single day. I am charged with teaching them about God and raising them to be godly people. People who will one day serve Him with all of their hearts. I don't know what is in store for them, but God tells me in Jeremiah 29 that He has a plan for them just as much as He has a plan for me. His plans are for prosperity, hope and a future. So even if I don't make it in the academic arena, I can make it in the home. My kids' future is at stake, and I'm not going to help them by being preoccupied with my studies.
So where does this come from all of a sudden? Well, I'm going to explain that right now. If it doesn't make sense right away, just bear with me and keep reading.
Yesterday Pastor Tim spoke on 2 Corinthians 12. The title of the sermon was "Sufficient Grace." Grace for our weaknesses. The main thing I got out of it is that God wants us at our weakest so that His strength can be displayed. How is God honored if I am only focusing on my strengths? Hint: He's not.
Then I got an email from my mom. Every now and then she sends me devotions from Greg Laurie, and this one was called "My Grace is Sufficient for You." He even quoted from 2 Corinthians 12. It was more about God being with us in our storms. Weird. But not too weird.
But then I read a post from Mark Brown (He's a pastor from Australia who posts his journeys into God's word.) called "The Strength in Realizing I Am Weak." Mark talked about how he loves to focus on his strengths, but really he is weak. He really needs the Holy Spirit's strength to overcome his sins, which are his weaknesses. Okay, God, you have my attention now.
And that's where all of this ties in. There is one more thing, but I'll get to that in a minute. God is not glorified when I am showing off my strengths. It was nice getting recognized at church yesterday for my accomplishment with my education. I love recognition. But it's not about me. It's about God and the eternal impact I am making for him. My eternal impact starts at home, and, I must admit, that is a weakness for me. I need a ton of God's grace to raise my children in a godly manner. It's a weakness for me to become just a homemaker and stay-at-home mom. I know I'm capable of doing so much more. But just being a homemaker gives me the opportunity to rely on God for the strength to stay on task and not get distracted.
I was recently given the opportunity to grab hold of God's promise to not leave me and to give me strength. I had an MRI on Friday, and it was the worst experience of my life. I was put into this tube, and I had to stay completely still. That wasn't so bad. But then I heard the noise of the MRI, and that was more than I could bear. I had a number of times when I panicked and all I wanted to do was get out. The only thing that got me through was praying and focusing on God. As long as I was focused on Him, I had strength to endure the MRI. Without God, I know that I couldn't have done it.
Well, there was one more thing that God used to speak to me. I prayed yesterday that God would give me a passion for my husband. Well, I got an answer to that one! I read the Women Living Well blog and Courtney, the blogger, posted a Completing Him Challenge that starts today! Well, I wasn't sure what "completing him" meant when I saw the post on Facebook, so I read it. It is a challenge to be the woman your husband needs. If that isn't from God, I don't know what is! So I'll be posting about this challenge in the coming weeks. While I was at Courtney's blog, I saw a segment of the Rachael Ray show that she was in. It was all about housewives. And I really saw how I'd like my life to be. And it scares me, because I have to have full reliance on God to meet our needs. It's going to be a lot of work to break out of the routine that I'm currently in. I really am going to have to commit to being the woman that my husband needs me to be.
This isn't the final word on the direction my life is going. I still need to pray a lot more about it. I want to make sure this is from God and not from me.

Reflections of the Heart in Social Media

2010-02-15T06:34:00.004-05:00

Proverbs 27:19--
As water reflects a face, so a man's heart reflects the man.

This is a difficult teaching. It begs the question of me "what is in my heart?" How can I know what is in my heart? How can I know what is in anyone's heart? In Matthew 12:34, Jesus says, "For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." This is how we can know what is in someone's hearts. But it's not just what I verbalize. It's what I say non-verbally too. With the advent of social media, there are many other ways to determine what is in someone's heart. On Twitter, you can browse through the people I follow. You can see that I follow people who are involved with autism, reiki, and health. I also follow some friends and celebrities. My Myspace page is decorated with an autism theme. With having an autistic son, it's a big part of my life. I also have a fractal video on there, and you can see what I like to listen to, watch, and read. All of these things reflect what is important to me. Even the friends I have reflect who I am. On Facebook I have over 100 friends, and I have joined many fan pages. What can a person learn about me from my fan pages? These things reflect my heart, whether intentional or not. They reflect what I like and who I am. Also on Facebook, I have a flair board, which is a place to stick virtual buttons. There are literally thousands of these flair. I'm pretty proud of my flair board, but what is it that I'm proud of? My religion, my family, my ideas on politics, popular culture. Actually, I think that it's a pretty good reflection of who I am. It's a reflection of my heart. You can look at all of these things and find out a piece of who I am. Social media can't tell the whole story, but it's a good start.
So what is in my heart? Lately I've been struggling with a weed that is growing in my heart and is choking out God's truth. The problem is that the weed is pretty attractive to me. It's feeding a part of me that has lain dormant for some time. It's part of who I was. I am not that person anymore though. But, you know, it's just like weeds. They start out innocently enough. Before you know it, it's taken over the garden. It hides in the shadows. If you look between the lines, you can see the struggle.

Peanut Butter Cup Smoothie

2009-10-27T10:13:00.002-04:00

I just made this today, and it has got to be the most incredible smoothie I have ever made! Here are the ingredients I included, but they could be modified to suit your particular tastes:

1/2 cup dark chocolate silken tofu
1/4 cup dry oats
1 Tbsp peanut butter
1 Tbsp ground flax seed (for a boost of Omega 3)
3 ice cubes

Blend it all together. That's all there is to it. In spite of the tofu, it does not have a strong soy taste. Starting with the dark chocolate tofu base opens up a world of possibilities, especially if you can't tolerate milk.

Bon apetit!

Devotional Thought for August 24, 2009

2009-08-24T08:04:00.002-04:00

"And whatever you do or say, let it be as a representative of the Lord Jesus, all the while giving thanks through him to God the Father." --Colossians 3:17

I remember back in 2006 when Rick Santorum was up for re-election to the Senate, a man had called up a television show to question Santorum about his policies. This man had already called Santorum's office and spoken with one of his office staff. The staff member gave the man a harsh answer which did not represent Santorum at all. As a result, this man believed that Santorum was against him and would not vote for him in the election. In addition, the man also told his friends not to vote for Santorum. I doubt that this was the reason for Santorum's loss in the election, but it did not help much. The senator had staff that was to represent him accurately, and one staff member failed to do his job. This can be devastating for any public official, especially if he has the people's best interests at heart.

As Christians, we are Christ's representatives. We may be all a person sees of Christ, but if we are acting in a way that is inappropriate of the spirit of Christ, then that person may get the wrong impression. Many people in the world see Christians as hypocritical. This may be the result of some hurt caused by a Christian or some particular church. Within the last ten years or so there have been many news stories circulating about the inappropriate actions of church leadership towards the most vulnerable in the church. We cannot represent Christ in this way! The world is watching us. People are interested to see if our actions are consistent with our beliefs. We are a forgiven people, and, no, we are not perfect. God can use our imperfections to His glory, but we must never forget that we reflect the beauty of our Savior, Jesus Christ. The one you represent is the One who wants to save the world. Are you accurately representing Him?

Daily Devotional Thought for August 7, 2009

2009-08-07T23:17:00.002-04:00

Matthew 9:9--As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector's booth. "Follow me," he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him.

Before I came to believe in Jesus in 2001, I was a wretched human being. I am hardly proud of the person that I was. Fortunately, God had different plans for me. He finally got my attention and won my heart. Jesus offered the same request to me that he had offered 2000 years before to his disciples and followers. "Follow me." The Divine takes special interest in turning the wretched into the righteous. All we need to do is follow Jesus. It took me years to realize this, but I'm so glad I did. I never had to make myself perfect to be eligible to follow Jesus. I can't make myself perfect; only Jesus can do that. All I need to do is accept His gift of grace and start following in His footsteps.

Still, 8 years later, I sometimes don't feel like I'm any closer to Christ than when I started on my journey with Him. I think sometimes I focus too much on perfection and less on grace. God needs to remind me that His grace is sufficient for me. Then I just need to get back to the basics and follow Jesus. What did Jesus do? Then that is the life I need to imitate.

Have you already accepted God's gift of grace? Are you following Jesus? Human nature seeks to attain perfection, but we don't need to. God will meet you where you are. Just remember Jesus' call to "Follow me." He didn't set prerequisites on following Him. All He wants is a heart that desires to follow Him.

Devotional Thought for August 6, 2009

2009-08-06T10:48:00.002-04:00

²⁵ "To whom will you compare me? Or who is my equal?" says the Holy One. ²⁶ Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing. Isaiah 40:25-26

²⁹ He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. ³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; ³¹ but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:29-31

God is all-powerful. He holds infinite stores of energy within His being. Being the mother of a high-functioning autistic little boy, I have limited amounts of energy. Many days I have no energy. I can rely on God to give me the strength I need to get through the day.

How do I know this is true? When I consider that God created everything from nothing, He must have poured His energy into His creation. Each atom that makes up our world is nothing more than particles of energy. There is so much energy on the earth and in the universe that came from God. That is why creation glorifies God! Humans are the only creatures who have the choice to worship the source of their being or not. Since God created me and gives me strength, then I really do belong to Him and am nothing on my own. God absolutely has the right to demand from me what He wants. As much as I think I can stand on my own, I can’t. I depend on God for everything: my physical needs, my emotional needs, and my spiritual needs. It all comes from him.

No matter what problem we face, we can count on God to give us just the amount of strength we need. All we need to do is ask for it.

Devotional Thought for August 4, 2009

2009-08-04T20:52:00.002-04:00

2 Timothy 2:15--"Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth."

God intends for us to know the truth. In this verse, Paul write, "...a workman...who correctly handles the word of truth." He wants us to know the truth about Himself and the life He desires for us. Everything that we need for a relationship with God and godly living is found within the pages of the Bible. There are a couple of things we must do to attain that end:

1. Respect God's Word. In respecting God's Word (the Bible), I respect the One Who authored it. God is perfect and His Word is perfect. The truth we find in the pages of the Bible is absolute. There is nothing we can add to it or take out of it that will make it better. If anything, changing it to suit our needs will make it less than what it was intended to be.

2. Study God's Word. Studying the Bible is essential to the life of a Christian. In doing so, we allow God to speak to us. The Bible is understandable, but it is vital to spend time in reading and meditation. As a college student, I must spend many hours reading my college textbooks and studying in order to understand the material and get an A. How much more do we need to study the Bible!

The truth is out there, and it is readily available to all who believe in Christ. God is waiting for us to discover His truth. All we need to do is spend some time with Him in His word.

Curing My Son

2009-03-02T23:44:00.002-05:00

I have to mention that James did get a formal diagnosis of autism February 3, 2009. I knew it was coming, so it wasn't quite so devastating. Apparently, people are trying to tell John that James isn't autistic. That he's just being a toddler. Hmm...does anyone want to take him out to the store or try to take him out of his routine? There is so much that makes James who he is. I am glad we got the diagnosis. I do want him to succeed. I don't want to take away an essential part of who he is though. It is hard sometimes to see other kids his age doing things that he is just not ready for. I would like to try him with Sunday School when he turns three. That will be a very difficult transition for him. Sometimes he feels like a regular kid, and I think that when I'm not so focused on his differences, he is a normal kid. At least until he is around his peers. Oh, yeah, that's what makes him different! I'm too tired to get into a list of the things that make him unique...and, yes, different. For now, I'm not ready for the cure that will make James like his peers. We'll just leave it at that.

Let it snow let it snow!

2009-01-28T06:17:00.003-05:00

I was reading a blog on the adventures of autism momma when I realized that I have completely neglected my own blog! So here I am to just write about the weather...seriously.

When I was listening to the weather reports, I hoped that at least Fleetwood School District was closed. Then if RACC decided to have just a two-hour delay, then I could use her as an excuse to not go to school. I really just didn't want to drive in the bad weather. So I didn't prepare myself at all for school last night. I actually prepared for a day off and bought mac and cheese and hot dogs to eat with my kids for lunch. I'm glad I did that now.

So everyone stay safe in the snow! I'll post a picture when I get one.

The Beginning of the New Year

2009-01-01T08:00:00.002-05:00

Well, okay. I've wanted to get on here to blog for quite some time now. Having kids around doesn't help that much. So now I'm getting to it.

I've been so freaked out lately about heart attacks and heart disease. I think it might be the forwards that keep circulating about female heart attacks and reading that you could have one and not know it. So I have gotten anxiety about any little pains I get in my chest. I think they're almost anxiety attacks, but I don't know. I haven't talked about this with my doctor. I did, however, go online and do an online assessment that St Joe's Hospital offers for heart disease risk. I actually have a 1% risk of developing heart disease in the next 10 years. This includes heart attack too. So good. I don't have to worry about having a heart attack while I'm driving. My biggest risk factors were my weight and my activity level (or lack thereof). So to drive down these risk factors, I am embarking on my...

weight loss journey! I have signed up for a 30 day sugar free challenge on Facebook, and I have signed up for Discovery Health's National Body Challenge. I need to lose these pesky 20 pounds once and for all! I'm back up to where I was two years ago. Being sick for the past month or so hasn't helped much at all. So I'm getting back into good health. So here we go. I haven't been sugar free today, but I am much better today than I have been. I'm taking it in little chunks. The point is to eat more fruits and veggies and less sugary junk food. Oh, yeah. I need to cut the coffee out and drink more water. I like my coffee though, so I might just focus on going black again. I just know I can feel better than I currently do, and I want to get to that place and stay there.

My other goal for the new year is to get back on track with God and (try) to read through the Bible. I found a chronological reading plan that will get me through the Bible in one year. I think coming from a historical standpoint might be interesting. We'll see how I do. I wrote in my status on Facebook that I felt like the seed sown in the thorns. It's true to an extent. I have the seed (the gospel of Christ) sown in my heart, but lately I've been so focused on the external things of the world. I've put all my energy into school and learning about autism and categorizing my son, that I have put God on the back burner. This is going to be a huge challenge, but I read this morning that I need to be willing to change. It's true. Nothing in my life is going to change unless I am willing to make changes within myself. The externals can change when the internals have changed.

So I'll let you know how I'm doing. For now, it's time to get back to taking care of the house. Happy New Year!

'Twas the Day After Christmas

2008-12-27T22:59:00.005-05:00

Okay. So this is two days after Christmas. What a Christmas it was! On Friday morning I awoke to an awful mess all over the place. There were toys scattered all over. It wouldn't have been so bad, except for James' basketball net. I couldn't seem to find a good place for it. Our house is not exactly big, so it was just in the way.

Here it is, I think.
Yup. This is it. There is a mess everywhere! And as much as I love my Christmas tree, I had to take it down and put everything away. I went through James' toys, which he doesn't have a whole lot of anyway, and picked out a bunch to give to Mandy. Then I took some of his toys from downstairs and moved them upstairs. I spent most of the day focused on getting the living room organized. I was getting a little nutty from the mess and piles everywhere. So now it's clean and (somewhat) organized. I'll be the most happy when my desk downstairs is cleared off and I can use the upstairs desk for my laptop. But that's another story. I hope everyone is enjoying their Christmas presents!

Setting up a new computer and Christmas

2008-12-25T20:42:00.003-05:00

Does anyone else find it incredibly frustrating to have to set up a new computer? I got my new laptop for Christmas. My husband spoils me. Well, it will be good to have for school, but now I have to get everything set up just the way I like it. I have things set up on my desk computer that work really well for me. Now I have to remember passwords and account names and all that fun stuff. Plus, I have to figure out how I got everything set up on my Flock browser. But I'm not going to complain, because I love my laptop! It's pretty much exactly what I wanted. I think a faster Internet connection would really make it rock. Actually, I'm not going to worry too much about having an Internet connection, because the Web really distracts me. So it's perfect. I download what I want so I can use it in Wi-Fi hotspots. Woohoo!

So overall it was a good Christmas. I got the gift of my dreams, and my kids were pretty happy too. Oh, yeah. And my husband was happy with what he got. He got the Sports Illustrated special edition World Series magazine, and he started reading it right away. I'm so glad he liked it. He also liked the "Twilight Zone" DVDs that I got him.

Cate was in heaven with her American Girl doll that she got. The stinker was up really early, scoping out the presents. I think most of them were for her anyway. Still, she was happy.

James was the same as last year, except that he didn't watch tv while we were unwrapping presents. I think his favorite gift so far is the musical train that Uncle Paul got him. For not having kids of his own, Paul is really good at picking out gifts for the kids! So James was just standing there watching the train and trying to add in his own little "musical notes." Otherwise, he didn't care about unwrapping the presents. I think that either John or I unwrapped everything for him. Actually, I don't think he even wanted them to be unwrapped at all! I don't know what to do with him sometimes. I think that John and I were hoping that he'd be okay with Christmas this year. John told me this morning that he was this way when he was a kid. I so wish Paula was still here to talk about this stuff. I really miss her.

Well, I ended up being sick for Christmas, so I stayed home. Frank came over and took Cate to Lisa's house so she could see her cousins. They're not home yet, so I'm guessing that they are having a good time. I was supposed to make the cranberries, rolls, and green bean casserole. I got the cranberries and rolls done, but the green bean casserole didn't make it. I just had no energy to do it. I'm feeling better now. I'll probably be better when I get a shower. For now, I'm just enjoying my new computer and getting it set up.

Merry Christmas to all!

New Favorite Breakfast Recipe

2008-12-14T15:12:00.002-05:00

First, I'd like to thank Stonyfield Farms for printing this on the side of their milk cartons. I wasn't sure about the recipe, but I tried it. It's a fantastic recipe for breakfast! Here it is:

Fruited Muesli

1 cup oatmeal
1 cup vanilla yogurt
1/2 cup milk
1/4 cup raisins
1/2 cup dried apricots, diced
2 Tbsp wheat germ
1 cup strawberries, sliced
1 cup blueberries
honey (optional)

Mix the oatmeal, yogurt, milk, and fruit in a big bowl. Let sit overnight. Top with honey to sweeten.

I eat about a cup to a cup and a half for breakfast. It holds me over until lunchtime. I just made this today. I substituted sliced peaches for the blueberries, so we'll see how that goes. My husband John doesn't find this too appealing, but then he doesn't find much of my healthy food appealing. It can be tough to try to find a middle road.

This recipe can be great if you're on a diet. I'm trying to lose a few pounds, and this is the perfect healthy start to my day. I'll post other healthy recipes as I come across them. Bon apetit!

The end of the semester!

2008-12-10T22:19:00.002-05:00

Well, I'm getting to the end of the semester. Finally! Tomorrow is my last day of classes, and then next week is finals week. I'm getting my work done (mostly) on time. I'm just a little late on my MicroApps work, but I'll get it done by this weekend. I'm so tired from getting less than six hours of sleep per night. Plus, on top of that, I have a little boy with a very bad cold. He's been getting up at night, and that disrupts the whole sleep pattern. I'll be so glad when the semester is done and I have my time to myself. Well, my time is never my own, but I'll have more time to spend with the kids and focus on other things. My relationship with God has gone by the wayside, and I am feeling that. It's not that I don't want to spend time with Him. I just have not found time in my routine. Hmm...I should have a time of spiritual refreshing after this is over.
This semester I am only taking four classes. I am taking six classes next semester. So now I'm wondering, what am I getting myself into?!?! I want to be done by next December, so this is what must be done. As long as I don't have any other presentations to do, I'll be fine. I am done with presentations for now. I had two this semester, and I'm not anxious to get in front of any other groups any time soon.
I have about six weeks until the next semester starts. What will I do? There is so much I'd like to do, but I really should spend a lot of time working with James and getting him into a routine. There is so much that needs to be done with him. I've been letting him slide lately, and it's been bad for him. He is progressing a little with his language and I'm so happy about that. So I will take some time with him. I also told Cate I'd spend some time with her too. She's been feeling all the busyness that has taken over my life lately. I feel so badly about that. Then I want to get my house back in order and spend some time practicing HTML and other programming stuff. I do have a website that I need to work on before the end of the year. Hopefully, that will mean a job for me. That would be good!
Well, I guess I should finish one of those assignments that I have left. I see the light at the end of the tunnel...it's a beautiful light....

Erma Bombeck knows how to say it!

2008-11-29T20:11:00.004-05:00

The Special Mother

by Erma Bombeck

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit.

This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth; son. Patron saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

"Forrest, Marjorie; daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia."

"Rutledge, Carrie; twins. Patron saint, Matthew."

Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."

The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God, "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it."

"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has her own world. She has to make her live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, God, what if she doesn't believe in you." God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect - she has just enough selfishness."

The angel gasps - "selfishness? is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word'". She will never consider a "step" ordinary.

When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle, and will know it!"

"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice....and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side".

"And what about her Patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.

God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."

I just cried when I read that. Am I that special mother? I think I will let Erma Bombeck speak through this.

A Common Thread

2008-11-28T22:40:00.003-05:00

I posted this on my Myspace page back in May. It was one of those flashes of brilliance that I got. I wish I got more of those more often. Anyway, I wanted to share it on here, because I think it is so appropriate these days. Enjoy!

What common thread is there in America? What is the American dream anymore? Last night my husband and I were talking about how Obama voted against English as being the official language of America. It's a tragedy.

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for diversity and people being able to speak their language of choice. But where is the unity that is supposed to hold us together? There is no common religion. There is no common language. There is no common value system even. The common thread is that everyone does what is right for him or her. Diversity is tearing our country apart.

The common attitude among Americans is this: If you want to practice that religion/live that lifestyle/agree with the policies of other countries/fill in the blank, then that's okay. Just don't shove it down my throat. Healthy debate has even fallen to the wayside. No common consensus is reached, and it turns into a contest of who can speak the loudest and make the other person feel bad. It doesn't have to be that way.

I really enjoyed the Disney/Pixar movie, "Cars." It was a wonderful movie, and I surprised myself by being able to break it down and analyze it. One thing that jumped out at me was the population of Radiator Springs. The population was quite diverse. There were Italians, a Mexican, a Black, a woman, old white men, an old woman, a hippie, a retired Army seargent, and a country hick. This is my take on the cars there. I think I got everyone. They were so different, yet they were so unified. They had a common goal that brought them together. They wanted people to come to their town, and they worked toward that goal together. I enjoyed seeing that kind of unity being presented in a children's movie. It is possible and it can happen. Sure, some of the cars got on some of the other car's nerves. It's a normal part of life. It wasn't perfect. The point is that they still stuck with their town and their neighbors.

I can see and feel a kind of "them versus us" attitude in American politics and life in general. It's Democrat versus Republican. It's conservative versus liberal. It's religious versus secular. It's gotten to such a point that you can't say anything about anything for fear of offending someone else. In unity we should not offend easily. Unity is about supporting what is good for the group as a whole. It is not about sacrificing the good of whole for the good of a few, yet this is what is happening. Because of a few who are offended by the Ten Commandments, it is not allowed to be displayed. The majority of Americans are religious, but popular culture and politics does not reflect that.

What is our common thread? What is our common goal as American people and how can we support each other in our journey to this common goal? When we can come together and figure this out, then we can become the country that we are supposed to be.

Sensory Processing Disorder

2008-11-26T23:40:00.004-05:00

THANK YOU A LOT

Have you ever noticed that 90% of these alleged "symptoms" are NORMAL ACTIVITIES or things people (including kids) NORMALLY may or may not like, and that if you would grab ANY person on the street (Anyone), you would be able to label that person as a SPD sufferer, according to your infinite checklist?

Thanks, now I know where they take these things from.

Have you ever met a child? Do you have at least one? Were you a child at some point of your life, or have you just forgotten?

I bet you have A LOT of these symptoms yourself.

Do you have SPD?

The above is from an RSS feed from the Sensory Processing Disorder Blog. I love the sarcasm that people try to bestow others over the internet. First, SPD doesn't mean that you have only one or two of the symptoms. Second, it does mean that it affects how you live your life. There was another post after that one that talked about labeling kids and putting them on medication. I'm probably the last person on earth to want to medicate her kids. However, there are times when medication is APPROPRIATE. Medication is appropriate about 25% of the time it is recommended. Just a rough estimate. Also, I don't want my kids labeled as anything, but if there is a problem, let's just tell it like it is.

The checklist is a guide. If a number of the symptoms are mentioned, then it's probably a good idea to see a professional who can diagnose SPD. For example, both Cate and James have sensory issues. It's not so bad that it interferes with our lives. It's a pain in the neck, but we live relatively normal lives. That's the difference. Sure, everyone has sensory issues, but that doesn't mean that everyone has SPD. It's like saying that everyone who gets depressed suffers from depression. Not true. I just wish people would educate themselves before spouting off idiocy like this.

Head Lice...AGAIN!

2008-11-25T15:42:00.004-05:00

My head is itching right now. Yours would be too if you were dealing with head lice in your family. I found a lonely one in Cate's head this morning. Cate cried, because she wanted to go to school. I couldn't let her go to school. It wouldn't have been fair to the other kids in the class. Usually, when you find one, there are more lurking around. Two weeks ago, we found 11 in her head. That's not a typo. It was eleven. I found 5 on Tuesday evening and 6 more on Wednesday morning. When I suspected head lice, I only found the nits. They were all over her head! I found the lice when I was combing her head. This morning I only found the one louse. I combed her hair later on and found a couple of nits and nothing else. Still.... I'm so tired of having to deal with head lice. We have been dealing with this since January of this year. I thought we were done with this in August. Apparently not. I will continue to be a good soldier and continue to seek and destroy these little bugs. I hope you will not have to deal with this problem pest.

Having Fun On the Web

2008-11-24T23:21:00.004-05:00

You know, I should be getting into bed now. It's 11:21 PM. I am tired. I quit doing schoolwork, because I thought I'd be going to bed. Well.... I had to download a cool new browser call Flock. I have to delete a few other browsers. So I'm playing with this new browser and getting myself all hooked up on it. Actually, I like it. It's time-consuming on the front end, but in the long run it will save time. I have all my bookmarks accessible. It can tell me when I have new Yahoo mail. I wish I could set up my hotmail and operamail in this too, but I'll take what I can get.
Speaking of hotmail. Since it has gotten that "fresh coat of paint" on its website, I am unable to send emails from my Google browser. I have to go to my IE browser, which I avoid as much as possible. I love my Google browser. Let me count the ways.... The search engine is built into the address bar. It auto-completes web addresses for me. It's fast. I just love it! The wrench in the whole thing is my hotmail account. I can access my email, but I cannot send email. Ugh! It is so frustrating.
(next morning)
My husband came home, so I didn't get to finish my rant about Hotmail not working on my Google browser. Anyway, Flock is a cool browser, and as I learn more about it I'm sure I will write more about it. If you haven't checked it out, I'd definitely recommend it!

Special Needs Kids

2008-11-21T22:29:00.001-05:00

I am a Cafemom mom. I just joined a group for moms with special needs kids. I just want to cry when I hear what some of these kids have to go through. I think about James and I wonder what I am whining about. James has MILD PDD. His speech delay isn't really that bad. He can talk anyway. I mean, it could be so much worse. He can mostly tell us what he wants. As long as he's not too tired, he's pretty good. But then he has one of those days where I just want to pull my hair out and have a good mixed drink at the end of the day. Chocolate also does it for me.

I'd like to get more services for James for his speech delay and behavioral support. But then some days I wonder if it's for me or for him. I think maybe it's a little of both sometimes. I just feel so busy some days that I don't have time to do for him what I need to do. That's shameful, but that's how I feel. I do try to spend as much time with him as I possibly can.

I guess every now and then I realize just how good I do have it. I think God knows that John and I wouldn't be able to handle more than we have now. We are stretched with our children, and that's good. We have the chance to be better people because of our children. I feel as though I'm more aware of children who are "different." I can be empathetic to their parents, because I know how they feel. James definitely has his moments when I'm sure people are wondering why I can't control my child. Maybe someone else could do a better job with him, but I am doing the best job I can possibly do with him.

I guess that we all have our struggles, and who is to say which is better or worse than the other? When you're in a situation, you just do what you have to do. You don't even think about it. It's your situation, and you make the best of it. That's all anyone can do or want.

Good news today

2008-11-14T15:06:00.000-05:00

My son, James, is suspected to be autistic. He has received a diagnosis of mild PDD from a developmental pediatrician. I wasn't really satisfied with the evaluation. Last week I called Good Shepherd Rehab to make an appointment, but I was told that the wait for an appointment there is one year. I called another place this morning, whose name escapes me right now, and I can get James in to see a psychiatrist and psychologist in 4-5 weeks. FOUR OR FIVE WEEKS!!!! I can't believe it!!!! I'm so excited. I hope that it's actually true. The psychiatrist will actually play with James to see what his strengths and weaknesses are. The developmental pediatrician didn't do that. I hope that we can get a solid diagnosis and get some extra therapy going for James. Right now he is in Early Intervention. He had his re-evaluation about a week ago, and he didn't make as much progress with his speech as I had hoped. I just want to know what's going on with him.